Wednesday, July 02, 2003

I am so lost - lost on this path to enlightenment. It is a fearful time and also one of personal courage. I found writing to be a calming means of discussing my confusion with myself. By taking pen and fresh paper and going through the mental gymnastics equired to harness my thoughts; place them in a logical, communicative order, I found I could make a semblance of reasoning for those chaotic thoughts.

Writing is not just for structure and communication, it also serves to purge my mind; release pent up thoughts. By committing them to paper I find a spot for them allowing them to be stored for the time being. My thoughts are not lost then, you see?
They are not discarded as without merit but also by purging so I allow for more new thoughts to take their place.

I worked through Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way. In her celebrated book she outlined her reasoning for the nessessity of morning pages. Practicing it answered a need in me. Having no one to talk to these pages became a way in which to tell me news without an interested ear. It calmed me in times of disorder and became a healing balm during times of woe.

I thought I had discovered a wonderful therapeutic tool but as you all know - journalling is a well documented tool for therapy as is visiting a therapist. I didn't discover it for the world, just on my own I found it.

I began working during this time away, on my website - a website that would reflect all my interests - computers, web, reading, gardening, alternative health, mediataion, journalling. I wanted to put all my thoughts up where anyone who cared could find them, benefit or at least feel a kinship.

Then I heard about blogging. Imagine my joy at finding a community already practicing that which I wanted yet hesitated to start up. I say hesitated because of course one feels that perhaps I am thinking too much about me. I mean, really, who really cares what I think - who did I think I was??!! I must be selfish, I concluded. Then I heard about blogging!

I cannot believe the synchronicity of it all. There is an old saying that "when the student is ready the teacher shall appear" and I certainly feel I found blogging right now for a reason. I feel so VALIDATED. I am not selfish or think to much of myself. This is a real concept with a real community of fellow writers - the modern day journallers! I still think - well who would read my stuff but you know what? It doesn't matter if no one does because I am getting the same feeling of communication and purging of my thoughts as journalling does.

This is just too cool. It truly blows me away. Everything DOES happen for a reason...

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home